Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i drank out of a bidet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
