I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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