I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
