i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
