Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
