I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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