I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
