I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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