So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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