I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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