sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
not ubering you a puppy
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
