Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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