Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
