youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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