remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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