but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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