It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So vagazzling was a success
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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