i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
this hospital has no fireball
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
