Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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