I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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