So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
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I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm too high and old for this...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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