i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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