32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
