you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
