You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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