don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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