Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
