Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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