mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
