You work out of a Hotel?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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