Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
