Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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