he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's rum buckets o'clock
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
