there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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