Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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