I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my poor anus
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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