**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we're making bets on your personal life
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
