How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
