I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So squirting runs in the family.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
