Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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