Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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