went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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