You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize