I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
