Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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