Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
