new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
pray to the hookup gods
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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