found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
