I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
