What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
