he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You're like the curious george of whores
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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