I need help removing her.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
