i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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