She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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