Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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