woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
