escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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