oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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