Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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