So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize