He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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